We Read the Weeklies

...so we can sign up for the medical research studies on the back pages!

The Guardian! What wonderfulness is there this week? First off, click here for blog Hooray for Anything's scientifically-determined Bay Guardian worst two paragraphs of the week! Find ones even worse and win free gmail invites until we have no more (post it in the comments, baby). Onto the purple prose itself! Local politics: police brutality, Mabel Teng is a sellout, supe candidate Rose Tsai thinks homosexuality is a sin. (Huh? Answer: she's running in District 1.) Cover story: anti-tenant developer Joe O'Donoghue is making friends with progressives -- uh oh! A very helpful list of bars where you can smoke -- so helpful it gets a link. Sex columnist: questions about anal sex. Maybe we're just not smart enough to wade through Dan Leone's prose and come out alive, but did he get a sex change or just get his ears pierced? And Kimberly Chun on Rock Against Bush and Yoshitomo Nara.

The Weekly! A letter about last week's article about strippers. PUNI features a mock checklist of irritating things in the Mission. (SFist checked off "lunatic pigeon feeders," "washed up johns," and "tacky thong wearing skanks.") An article about people who sell sex toys at private parties. (Didn't we read this article in the New York Times magazine a few months ago?) Cover article: the SF Fringe Festival. A confessional article by an indie hipster about his secret love for Dashboard Confessional and mainstream pop-punk. (Emboldened by this article, SFist will now use this forum to admit to our own not-quite-ironic-enough love for Blink-182.) Dan Savage: again with the fetishes! Can't we get back to good ol' fashioned humiliating sexual encounters in this column?

Winner this week: It's close... very close! Your call, ladies and gents -- would you rather read about local politics or sex? Choose accordingly. (SFist is getting old -- we're going with local politics.)

The Metro after the jump (SFist again forgot to pick up the E.Bay Express this week -- sorry, 510'ers.)